Mediation is a voluntary settlement process where parties work together with a mediator to plan your futures. At its core, mediation is about defining problems and negotiating solutions.

A mediator is not a judge that decides who is right and wrong. A mediator is there to guide the parties through the process, navigating the conflict to come to a resolution. A mediator helps the couple decide which assets have to be divided, how they will be divided, appropriate custody arrangements, and whether spousal support, alimony and/or child support is appropriate.

Mediation is faster, less expensive, and less contentious than a traditional divorce process.

This is entirely up to you! Documents have to be gathered and financial affidavits are completed. The process generally takes between 2-10 sessions, 2 hours each, though the process is largely dependent on how quickly the parties can come together to agree on an equitable resolution.

Once the mediation is complete and the Memorandum of Understanding is signed, you or your attorney would submit this document along with all necessary legal paperwork to the court for review. The court would ultimately issue your divorce decree.

The main difference between the two is flexibility. On the rare occasion that mediation cannot result in a resolution, you still have the option to hire an attorney and shift to litigation. The benefit of starting with mediation is that you will have saved money by first resolving some of the conflicts ahead of time.

By contrast, in a collaborative divorce, each spouse hires a specially trained attorney to engage in the process. No mediator or judge is involved, and you are not able to go to trial if negotiations break down. You would have to begin again with new attorneys, and start the process all over.

Yes, there are situations where mediation would not be appropriate. Some of those situations would be: if you fear for your child’s safety, you have experienced domestic violence or abuse, you suspect your spouse is hiding assets, your spouse is not on board with mediation and wishes to delay the process to avoid paying support. A mediator cannot force anyone to engage in the process against their will.

I am a psychologist and also a Nationally Certified Professional Mediator (NCPM). A mediator, regardless of profession, is not allowed to give any legal advice. Mediators are trained to help parties navigate the process so all parties feel the result is equitable. Even if you used a mediator who was an attorney, you would still have a separate attorney who would be filing paperwork for your divorce, and reviewing the settlement agreement.

One of the reasons I chose to add mediation to my practice is because I have worked with many clients over the past 20 years who were going through difficult divorces; unfortunately many finished the process no better at communicating with their ex-spouse about parenting decisions, or other issues. Given my extensive experience in conflict resolution, my goal when working with people is to help them learn how to problem-solve effectively through the process of mediation, so life after divorce can be smoother, with less ongoing conflict.

Mediation is a confidential process, with no public record of what is discussed in sessions. The law protects the privacy of all communications between a mediator and the parties.

However, if there is a safety issue, such as issues of abuse, neglect, or a danger to yourself/others, then I am obligated by law to respond in a way that may break confidentiality to keep folks safe. Please let Dr. Nelson know if you have any questions about this.

Additionally, if the process breaks down and the couple decides on litigation, a mediator cannot be called as a witness, therefore what you say in mediation sessions remains confidential.

Litigation is what most people think of when they think of divorce. However, mediation allows you or your attorney to file an uncontested divorce, meaning that all the details of the divorce have been agreed upon. Many courts process uncontested divorces much faster than divorces going to trial. On the rare occasion that mediation cannot result in a resolution, you and your spouse are still able to shift to a litigation model with your attorney.

The benefit of starting with mediation is that you will have saved money by hammering out many aspects of the divorce without the need (and higher rate) of attorneys. Another benefit of mediation is that it is a process that helps to improve relationships among parties who will have to deal with each other again, and to help them learn how best to handle conflict in the future.

During the parenting portion of mediation, you will work out a comprehensive, yet fluid parenting plan that addresses both the current needs and best interests of the children as well as other family dynamics. It is important that this document also stands the test of time, so we will be considering your children’s needs currently and how those needs may change as they grow. The best parenting plans anticipate future needs, which helps to alleviate conflict between the parents in the future.

I offer day, evening, and Saturday morning hours for mediation.

Although it is not necessary, you can go through the mediation process and still have an attorney provide you legal advice (even a mediator who is also an attorney would not be allowed to offer legal advice due to the rules of mediation). Many couples will wait an hire an attorney to review the mediation agreement prior to signing and submitting to the court.